


we're gonna be alright

by breathingdestiel



Series: tumblr challenges [12]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s08e17 Goodbye Stranger, First Kiss, Human Castiel in the Bunker, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, M/M, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 09:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14766563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathingdestiel/pseuds/breathingdestiel
Summary: Cas keeps having nightmares about the time he was forced to kill hundreds of Deans and Dean is there to comfort him.





	we're gonna be alright

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd.

_A stab through the heart. A lethal hit to the head. Snapped neck. And so on and on and on._

Cas wakes up with a scream. So many wrongs he did in his life, but he can't shake this one off. Every night, hundreds of different ways in which he killed Dean replay in his nightmares.

He sits up in his bed and rubs his eyes. There is no way he can go back to sleep even though he is beyond exhausted. He will just have to drink copious amounts of coffee to get through tomorrow.

Before he can decide what to do next, a light knock on the door startles him.

"Cas, are you awake?" Dean whispers as he pokes his head into the room.

"Yes, Dean. Come in."

Dean shuffles across the room to the bed and sits on the edge close to Cas's legs."Are you okay?" He  asks. "I heard you yell out. Nightmares again?"

Cas lets out a sigh. "Yes. I'm sorry I woke you up. You don't have to worry about me."

"You didn't wake me up," Dean says gently, "And of course I'll worry. I know you're not used to nightmares. I wish I could help you… Do you-Do you wanna talk about it?"

An overwhelming feeling of shame creeps over him and he has to look away from Dean. "N-no. I'll be fine, Dean."

"Cas..." Dean hesitates for a second before putting a comforting hand on Cas's knee. "Look, I know how fucking terrible nightmares are. Hell, to this day I still have nightmares about shit I did in hell and I sure as fuck wouldn't want to talk about it, but… Maybe you should? I don't know, it's supposed to be healthy for you or some shit."

As Dean rambles, Cas can't help but smile.  What did he do to deserve this man in his life?

"Anyway, my point is: I'm here for you if you want to talk about it, or whatever."

"Thank you, Dean," Cas says. "I'm not sure I _can_ talk to you about it. These nightmares… they're about you."

"About me?" Dean asks, sounding curious, but also understanding.

Cas nods and takes a deep breath. Maybe he will feel better after he tells Dean. Maybe Dean won't be repulsed by him. "About that time when Naomi… when she was controlling me."

"That wasn't your fault, you know that. Like you said she was controlling you, but you managed to break through."

"I know, but during that time, before I attacked you in the crypt, she trained me, Dean. She made copies of you and made me kill them. Thousands of them… of you. I killed all of them… I remember you dying in hundreds of ways, all by my hand and I can't…"

His voice wavers and he realizes he's crying.

"Shh," Dean murmurs as he settles beside Cas and wraps his arms tightly around him.

Cas burrows his head in the crook of Dean's neck, enjoying the comfort it provides. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he keeps repeating as he shakes in Dean's hold.

"It's not your fault, baby. Shh, It's alright. Everything's gonna be alright." Dean keeps rubbing his back and whispering soothing words into his hair until he finally calms down.

After he plucks enough courage, he pulls away from Dean and meets his eyes. "I'm sorry, Dean. I don't know what has gotten into me. I-"

"Cas, don't worry about it. Are you _okay_?" Dean looks so worried and it warms his heart.

"I- Yes, I am. Thank you." He smiles gently, happy when Dean returns his smile.

"Anytime, buddy," Dean says as he claps Cas's shoulder. But that word—buddy—reminds Cas that Dean called him baby while comforting him. He's not sure if he should bring it up—perhaps Dean only said it the heat of the moment—but something about the way Dean is looking at him makes him ask.

"You called me baby. A few minutes ago."

Dean rubs the back of his neck. "You noticed that, huh? Look, it came out… I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I promise I'll keep myself in check in the future."

He makes a move to get up, but Cas snatches his wrist. "Don't go. I wasn't uncomfortable."

"You… weren't?" Dean asks, hopeful expression on his face.

"No, I liked it. I liked you hugging me too."

"I liked that too," Dean admits and scoots closer to Cas. His eyes drift downwards for a short moment, before he looks into Cas's eyes. "I'm not reading this wrong, right? I can kiss you?"

Smiling, Cas puts a hand on Dean's cheek. "Yes, Dean. You can kiss me."

Their lips meet in a gentle, languid kiss, but Cas's heart is beating rapidly. He tries to pour all his love and devotion into the kiss, as well as his apology. Still shaken from his nightmare, one part of him doesn't think he's worthy of knowing the taste of Dean's lips, but he tries to smother that line of thinking. They've been through so much, Dean and him, and they deserve to finally be happy.

Dean must have felt his hesitation because he pulls away and squeezes Cas's hand. "We're gonna be alright," he says with a boyish grin before he dives in and locks their lips together once again.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, leave kudos and/or comment! :D
> 
> Find me on [tumblr.](http://breathingdestiel.tumblr.com)


End file.
